The "Killer Is Loose" Guide to a Happy Marriage

Greetings, fellow married people and others. My name is
Detective Sam Wagner. My first name isn't "Detective," ha ha!
Anywho, I'm here to give you some excellent tips on how
to be hitched -- and happy! 

First, get yourself a smoking hot wife.

This is mine, so slow your roll.

My wife's name is Lila and she's a tiger in the kitchen and
a worker bee in the bedroom. Or maybe it's the other
way around -- I never can remember.   

Oh, little problems come up now and again. Like the
 time I accidentally killed Warby Parker's wife
and he swore revenge on me by targeting Lila. 

Warby Parker was in prison, but he was paroled for
good behavior and so he headed our way. 

Lila was in real danger, so I did what any considerate
husband would do. I hypnotized her. Ha ha! Just kidding.
I didn't tell her anything at all. 

She just thought she was being shadowed by Buddy Holly.

Lila didn't understand how great I was being by keeping her
completely in the dark about being stalked by an armed
psychotic. She got mad at me and walked out. 

Buddy -- I mean Warby -- saw his chance and moved in on
Lila, who was wearing an outfit designed to blend in.

Warby disguised himself as a stadium blanket.

Of course, we stopped him in a peaceful manner and
Lila is safe.

Her trust level, on the other hand, is something she

needs to work on.