This is the hard-hitting, totally true, no really story of famous gangster John Dillinger. We first meet him on the day he has stolen a new suit from a five year old. |
Dillinger then holds up a candy store with a Twizzler he has shoved into his pocket! Oh, the irony! |
(Sad trombone) |
John ends up in the jug, where he starts making new friends. |
His jolly compatriots include (left to right) Specs, Sneezy, Romeo and Anthony Dellavorte, Certified Financial Planner. |
The new gang soon begins robbing banks with the vigor of someone who is very vigorous. |
Oh -- and Dillinger meets a young woman who will soon play a significant role in his DOWNFALL. |
But in the meantime, Hoosiers are in a state of terror that will remain unequaled until the glory days of Bobby Knight! |
Banks are being robbed all over Indiana, including ... El Segundo? |
The fame makes Dillinger a worldwide celebrity, but he starts to get a little unstable. |
He takes up hobbies, including woodworking ... |
... and model railroading. |
Finally, he decides to rob a bank by using baby powder and his gang decides it's time to move on to another criminal mastermind. |
But the girl stays in the picture. And she starts wondering where she's going to get some money to buy Christmas presents. |
She and Dillinger decide to forget their troubles and go to a movie theatre IT DOES TOO LOOK LIKE A MOVIE THEATRE SHUT UP |
He is totally inconspicuous. |
Then, outside the theatre, Dillinger makes his fatal mistake. He weighs himself and pays for it with a slug. |
(Sad trombone.) |
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